See No Evil, Hear No Evil

What the eye does not see the heart does not feel? Is the same as saying what you don’t know won’t hurt you. Now I personally disagree with both statements, although I understand that in their simplest form they are technically true. However I believe if you delve deeper into it, if something is hidden only to be revealed at a later date it will cause more hurt and pain than it would have done in the first instance. The reason being that you will be hit by a double whammy of truths, one being the initial fact that was hidden from you (whatever that may be) and the second being the feeling of humiliation that others knew the truth yet you didn’t. Honesty is truly the best policy, I believe in the truth no matter how painful it may be, it’s better out than in, it may hurt but it’s definitely the only way.



I’m going to let you into an archived chapter of my life to give an example of what context I’m referring to and why I feel the truth should be told.



Years ago I was engaged to who I thought was the love of my life at that moment in time. He was a family man, had a good job, got on with my friends, was romantic and always tried to do things that would make me happy. He seemed to be the perfect guy……or so I thought!



As we all know there is no such thing as perfection and so I knew it was too good to be true. Unfortunately for me I was about to get the biggest shock of my life, betrayal in a way I thought only really happens on TV. I guess that was my nativity and perhaps my want to be loved unconditionally and live happily ever after! (Too many fairy tales growing up). So whilst I was living in my own little bubble believing this man was the person I was about to spend the rest of my life with, he on the other hand had other plans! I was discussing wedding details with my friends and getting excited over these plans………all for him to come to me one day and tell me that he tried it on with one of my friends! 😱What the hell? Are you freaking kidding me?! He apparently wanted to tell me the truth as he claimed to want to spend the rest of his life with me without any lies. Unfortunately the friend in question didn’t disclose any of this information……that friendship ceased. I guess the part of me that loved him wanted to forgive him and give him another chance and believe that it was a mistake he made that wouldn’t happen again. The truth of the matter was the damage was done and I could no longer trust him, however that part of my heart that loved him said to give him a chance, so I did 🙈. A few weeks passed and two other friends came to me to tell me that he had tried it on them 😩. That was all I needed to hear! He was gone, fool me once, fool me twice but he would not fool me a third time. Now those two friends said it was the hardest thing they had done coming to me about him, but they said they had to, in order to be loyal to me, as they couldn’t stand to see me with someone who was not true to me! I have so much respect for those friends right now to this day, because although it was hard for them to tell me about him, it was the definitely the best thing they could have done and it hasn’t changed anything between our friendship, it just made me realise he had to go! Don’t get me wrong it hurt beyond belief to know what a low life I was engaged to but I knew that pain was to be short lived and my life after would be so much better without him.



So you see for me, the truth is beautiful, it may hurt in the first instance but it can save you further heart ache and pain down the line. Had I not had known about that guy, I could have married him, had children together and then found out; it would have then been harder and more painful, as I would have had to go through a divorce, split the house and still be a part of his life as we would have shared children. Thank God I had a lucky escape thanks to the beautiful truth my friends shared with me. I have since got into a relationship with my soul mate and we have a beautiful family together and he makes me happy. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason although we may not see it at the time.



This strategy works for me and is not going to be ideal for everyone and every situation. Depending on your personal circumstances and how you chose to live your life will determine whether or not you you agree with ‘what the eye does not see the heart does not feel’.



Stay cool, stay safe, stay blessed and most of all stay being you!
Love your gurl
First Lady Randz


  1. Newley

    It’s difficult for logic to prevail over emotion when in a situation like the one you’ve just described. I take my hat off to you for having the inner strength to ‘do the right thing.’ It also helped having those two true friends around you, who were willing to risk their friendship with you, in order to set the truth free.

    1. First Lady Randz
      First Lady Randz

      Most definitely Newley, my mum always said to me “don’t let your heart rule your head” however that is easier said than done, everyone’s circumstances are different & they have to do what is right for them, I’m just glad I had friends who were honest with me regardless of the impact it would have. 💋


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