Do I stay? or Do I go?

Do I stay

Do I stay? Or do I go? Now that is a question I’m sure everyone, included myself, has asked themselves at some point in their life. Whether it be with your current or previous partner. 

I love reality tv and I have been watching a new series called Make or Break on Channel 5. The show takes 8 couples on a paradise island and then splits them apart. However they don’t just split them apart, but they are placed with a partner of another contestant. The idea to test their relationship. They are put through a series of tasks all aimed for them to make a decision whether their relationship will make it or if it’s time to break up.

The couples on this show face issues in their relationship because they have either cheated, have anger issues, lack of trust, overly emotional, insecure or jealous. All issues that I’m sure we can all relate to.

So this leads me think, when faced with these circumstances. Do you stay? Or do you go? Is the grass greener on the other side? Do you know your worth? Can you trust again? Could you be happier? So many questions. Lets look at one of the issues on ‘Make or Break’…

Cheating

You find out your boyfriend/girlfriend has cheated on you! Do you stay? Or do you go?

In my head it’s a no brainer. They cheated…so in the words of Beyonce “to the left, to the left….everything you own in a box to the left”. You or they go. Done. Simples. You end the so called relationship as he/she clearly doesn’t value your love or respect you. To sneak behind your back and engage with another man/woman breaking all form of trust is unacceptable. In my opinion. 

However, I understand when you’re actually in the scenario yourself, it’s not as easy as that. There is often a lot to think about. The situation. Your relationship in general. Your family, if you have one together. It’s not as straight forward as “Girl/BoyBye”.

What is cheating? I often hear people refer to cheating in different ways. To some it’s a physical relationship with another person. Whilst to others cheating is texting, sexting and engaging in regular conversations with someone you’re attracted too, without your partner knowing about it. What makes it cheating is the fact that you hide it from your partner. Hidden because you know it’s wrong. Otherwise what is the harm of sharing it with your partner?

To me both forms are cheating. Is one worse than the other? Take and read and tell me your thoughts. 

Exhibit 1

For the sake of this blog exhibit 1 will be a male known as Sterling. He is in a relationship with Anita. They have been dating for 5 years. Sterling goes on a stag do. Knocking back alcohol with the guys one after another. As part of the stag do they go to a strip bar. All the men including Sterling have a lap dance. However the lap dancer takes a fancy on Sterling. She tells him she gets off in a hour and wants to meet up. Sterling fuelled with alcohol gives her his number and the hotel details of where he’s staying. The lap dancer turns up and one thing leads to another. Before you know it Sterling has slept with another woman. Soon after she leaves. Sterling has no intention of pursuing anything more with her. For him it was simply a one night stand that he wants to forget and never share with Anita.

Exhibit 2

Just so there is no argument that women are worse than men, I will also use a male in this scenario. I will use a male known as Patrick. He is in a relationship with Lisa. They have also been together 5 years. Patrick on a night out with the guys gets talking to another group of ladies. One by the name of Janet. They talk for a long period of time and exchange numbers. Nothing happens between them, they both go home. The next day Patrick texts Janet, telling her how much he enjoyed her company last night. They continued texting back and forth that day getting to know one another. Those texts continued daily for weeks. They then became flirty texts. Texting first thing in morning, throughout the day and last thing at night. All in secret from his long term girlfriend Lisa. Patrick & Janet continued texting for months and eventually met up a few times for drinks. Patrick told Janet he was single. And that he had strong feelings for her. Although nothing physical happened, they both want it to and made plans to continue seeing each other. All of which Patrick is not going to share with his girlfriend Lisa.

Are the above exhibits as bad as each other? Or is one worse? Could you forgive your partner for either of them?

Does your opinion change if the person cheating is male or female? Growing up, I often heard that when a man has multiple women it’s accepted & glorified yet when a woman does it she is wh*%e. Totally double standards. One that seems to be accepted in society. As far as I am concerned, man or woman cheating is cheating and is wrong.

What’s your thoughts?

Love

First Lady Randz #FLR

#JWAGS 💋

2 Comments

  1. Nii Djata

    Cheating is wrong and no justification about it.
    There is always a reason why people cheat and if its NOT solved, the chance of cheating again is high.

    Somehow, i mighty be able to forgive and stay if am able to see the reason and if i can amend what the cost is.

    Reply
    1. First Lady Randz
      First Lady Randz

      Yes Nii I totally hear where you’re coming from. Although I like to think cheating is very black and white there are grey areas where circumstances should be taken into consideration, especially when making any life changing decisions.

      Thanks for taking the time out to share your thoughts and comment.

      Reply

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